April 2025
Three Questions Every Follower Asks
By Ken Smith, from Follow Me Leadership
What makes someone worth following?
This is the central question I explore in the chapter Three Questions Everyone Asks About Their Leader, which I had the honor of contributing to the book Follow Me Leadership. This book is a powerful collection of lessons from a select group of Academy Leadership Facilitators, each offering their unique insights and real-world experience. Leadership is often associated with titles, authority, and hierarchy, but I believe leadership is something far more powerful:
It is a choice, not a position.
My definition of leadership is "inspiring people to do more than they would have done on their own." Not influencing. Not managing. Inspiring. It's about lighting a fire in others—not because you told them to, but because they believe in your ability to lead them. And that belief, the foundation of effective leadership, boils down to three critical questions every team member asks, consciously or not:
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Are They Competent?
Competence in leadership isn't about being the smartest person in the room or the best technical expert. It's about mastering leadership skills — and yes, they are skills: observable, measurable, teachable, and learnable.
Here are several key competencies that I believe define effective leaders:
- Giving feedback and diagnosing performance: Use clear, observation-based feedback (what I call the "Magic Formula" = My Expectation + My Observation) and identify if performance gaps stem from a skill, will, or resource issue.
- Setting direction and building alignment: Craft SMART goals that are co-created or agreed upon, and foster team unity through clarity and shared purpose.
- Managing conflict and accountability: Address disagreements constructively using the right conflict strategy and hold people accountable through consistent follow-up and coaching.
- Delegating and developing others: Use delegation not just to distribute tasks, but to grow people and signal trust in their capabilities.
Competence in these areas builds credibility and inspires confidence. But it's only one piece of the puzzle.
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Do They Care About Me?
Here's the emotional heartbeat of leadership: You must genuinely care about the people you lead. And people know if it's fake. Care can't be manufactured—it must come from a place of authenticity.
Quoting James Kouzes and Barry Posner in the Leadership Challenge, I often remind leaders:
"Leadership is an affair of the heart, not of the head."
To demonstrate care, you must:
- Take time to get to know your people.
- Listen deeply.
- Help people grow and achieve their goals.
- Be authentic, consistent, and grateful.
- Protect your team when needed.
Gratitude is a particularly powerful tool. I encourage leaders to reflect often, recognize effort across the board, and appreciate even the small wins.
Developing others is both a skill and a signal of care. Identify growth areas, create robust development plans, and coach your people. This is how you show love through leadership.
Through my own experiences—from U.S. Army Infantry units to offshore oil rigs—I've seen this principle in action. Love is not gendered. It is a leadership trait. And it works.
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Do I Trust Them?
Trust is the bridge between leader and follower. Without it, you cannot lead effectively.
I define trust as "the belief that those whom we depend on will meet our positive expectations of them." And it's fragile: "gained by the inch, lost by the mile."
Ask yourself:
- Is my behavior predictable?
- Do I communicate clearly?
- Do I treat commitments seriously?
- Am I honest?
One of the best tools I recommend is the Personal Leadership Philosophy. This simple document gives your team clarity about how you lead and what they can expect.
To deepen trust, I also advocate for the Energize2LeadTM (E2L) tool, which helps leaders understand how each team member builds trust. Everyone's trust threshold is different—great leaders adjust to meet those needs.
Finally, here's a counterintuitive insight: You must give trust first. Waiting for others to earn it only delays growth. Delegating early and often opens doors and builds credibility.
The Bottom Line
If your team can answer yes to these three questions:
- Are they competent?
- Do they care about me?
- Do I trust them?
Then, you are an effective leader. The kind of leader people want to follow.
Leadership is not about perfection. It's about progress. Improving 1% every day builds strong leadership habits over time. Give yourself grace. Be patient. Practice deliberately.
Act like a leader. Think like a leader. Feel like a leader. That's what inspires people to follow.
Ken Smith is a distinguished graduate from the United States Military Academy, where he earned a B.S. in Mechanical Engineering. He left the Army as a Major after 12 years as an Infantry officer, including two combat tours. Ken earned the Bronze Star Medal during his service in Iraq and is a Ranger School graduate. He holds a master's degree in Organizational Psychology from Columbia University. Ken lives his passion transforming good managers into inspirational leaders. He merges theoretical knowledge with real-world experiences to deliver a unique leadership development experience. He is especially skilled at developing introverts and technical individuals. Ken is a contributing author of the Amazon bestseller, Follow Me Leadership.
